This made me laugh out loud but at the same time annoyed me it was so good:
...my other failure was his smoking. He'd been at it for 15 years and already had circulation problems - a large varicose vein had appeared on his crotch, coiling across his scrotum and up his cock like a power cable.
What Rhymes With Bastard by Linda Robertson
Out next week and can't wait to read it.
Bye bye, thanks for visiting, come again soon.